Love Warps the Mind a Little
by Ren-sama23
Summary: Zero is trying to do his best so that no one would know about his secret... His secret feelings for the lover of his younger sister. Will he just continue to keep it or will it actually be revealed one way or another? KaZe.
1. Chapter 1

**Ren-sama23's Note:**

 **Hi, guys! I have another KaZe fict here! This is actually a two-shots. I hope you enjoy this too!**

 **Warning: This is definitely AU so please don't compare it with the anime/manga. Also, some of the characters might become OOC. And since this is a terribly shorter fict in comparison to my 'Bloody Petals,' the flow of the story will also be more fast-paced here.**

 **Disclaimer: VK isn't mine… Only the story. ᶺoᶺ**

 **.**

 **Chapter 1**

Zero Kiryuu, a handsome young man at the age of eighteen, sighed as he opened the front door and entered the house. He already came home so late that night but he still wasn't disappointed to see that man sitting quite comfortably in the living room.

The man, a handsome young adult at the age of twenty four, had wavy brunette locks and dark chocolate eyes. He was reading a book but immediately put it down when Zero entered. He gave the silver-haired teen a cool gaze and smile but the latter didn't return it. He even glared at the man in return as he immediately ascended the stairs and briskly went to his own room. No, he was not a cruel teen or even a disrespectful person. What he did actually has a valid reason.

He knew that man would be there every time he'd go home but it's still very shocking, on top of annoying, to actually see him in full flesh sitting there like always.

 _Kuran Kaname._ That was the man's name – the name which was often spoke of inside their house with great compliment and awe. It was also the name of Zero's younger sister's lover. Or more precisely, Yuuki Kiryuu's ex-lover.

Zero sighed as he immediately locked the door from within. He closed his eyes as he leaned on the door for support. It always made his heart beat fast just looking at those cool eyes. He could still feel his heart hammering inside his chest just from that brief moment of interaction. He thought he'd really pass out from it.

Yes, Kaname was his sister's ex-lover. Yuuki met the man two years ago when Kaname was invited at a company party which the Kiryuu family attended. The two of them immediately fell for each other and became lovers within the next few months. Zero hated the man _at first_. Sure, Kaname was handsome and rich, intelligent and cool. But the man was just too old for his sister who was younger than him by another two years. Yuuki was fourteen then while Kaname was already twenty-one. He just felt like they were not good for one another especially since the brunette male already have plans for the future while his sister was just starting to blossom into a teenager.

He never thought it was strange before – getting irritated whenever he saw Kaname and Yuuki together or getting angry at even the slightest touch between the two. But when he learned of his own feelings, he did find his actions really frustrating. He used to hate Kaname's guts for actually visiting their house every once in a while to take Yuuki out on dates. Zero usually did his best to annoy the hell out of the man. Even his younger twin Ichiru thought he was being childish about it but he didn't know then that what he was feeling was not actually just a little act of brother complex. _It was the opposite._

 _He didn't know how it started._ Maybe a year ago when he accidentally walked in on Kaname bathing naked inside his room's bathroom… seeing that the main bathroom's doorknob didn't work and bathing inside Yuuki's room would be very inappropriate. He was actually stunned then, not knowing if he would shout at the man or if he would blush for all the godliness that he saw. Or maybe his feelings sprouted from when he first saw Kaname and Yuuki kissing quite passionately in the veranda and he did everything just to make the man leave the premise, earning him the anger of his own sister. Or maybe it was from the first time he saw Kaname that night two years ago, dressed in a black tux and oozing with so much elegance and regality.

Up until now, he never knew how he managed to endure it. _Having to see that man and his sister together… like he was always walking in on something so private he'd have to close his eyes._ The pain and the heartbreak caused by that man was much too vast to earn Kaname forgiveness from him.

 _But what could he do? It was such a stupid one-sided feeling…_

It's a stupid one-sided secret feeling which he could not tell even to his twin, the supposed person who knew him best. Ichiru would probably keep it a secret too but he just couldn't have the gall to say it in words.

 _That he's in love with his younger sister's lover…_

Technically, Kaname and Yuuki were now over since his stupid sister just had to ditch the handsome and rich Kaname for a more stupid and annoying man called Hanabusa Aido. The man sure had the brain that maybe comparable to Kaname but he's just too vain for Zero's liking.

The silver-haired male put down his bag on the desk when he's finally able to move again. It's the same scene every fucking day. That man, who was supposed to be just an ex just kept on visiting and seeing Yuuki. He also always interacted in the same way to her, just like a normal lover would. _It's very annoying._ He could see the pain in Kaname's eyes whenever he'd visit and Aido was there. Even now, Zero had no idea why the man was still keeping in touch with Yuuki and her family. Yuuki ditched him quite unceremoniously too.

 _Maybe that's just how Kaname was… a man who would love Yuuki for a long, long time…_

"Idiot…" He voiced quietly as he lay on the bed, still in his uniform. "If only you'll look this way…" He sighed before he covered his eyes with his arms. _He felt so filthy… falling in love for such a long time with his own sister's lover…_ He thought his feelings would wane in time, but it was the opposite. _He felt so fucking filthy for thinking, even if for a second, that it was good Yuuki found another person to love… leaving Kaname heartbroken and devastated…_ And yet, seeing Kaname so sad sometimes made him want to strangle his annoying sister who didn't know what she let go of.

No, if he was indeed the worst brother on earth, then he should have already acted on his feelings and finally confessed to the man. But he still had his sanity intact… barely.

Sometimes, when he thought that he could finally act on his feelings for Kaname since the man wasn't Yuuki's lover anymore, he would feel himself being eaten alive by guilt and self-hatred. He felt that just loving Kaname secretly was already a betrayal to Yuuki whom he cherished very much seeing as she was his only sister. _Acting on his feelings was never an option…_

He heard a knock on the door and knew immediately that it was Yuuki on the other side even before she voiced, "Zero-nii, dinner is ready! Are you sleeping again?"

"I'm awake." He voiced in his usual bored but irritated tone.

He went downstairs after a few minutes of readying his heart. It was not a strange scene anymore to see Kaname dining with them… but Kaname dining with them while Aido was in the house too was a first. Zero actually stopped in his step when he saw Yuuki together with Aido on the other side of the table while Ichiru and Kaname sat on the other side. _That IDIOTIC sister of him…_

"Zero, is it alright for you to sit beside Kaname-kun?" His mother called unsurely. They all thought he hated Kaname to the core. _How far off could they get..?_

He sighed and nodded just as he sat quietly in his seat. He looked awfully calm but he's actually quite panicking inside. How could they all eat so calmly and even have such a lively conversation when both the ex and the current lover were there? Even Kaname sometimes talked to their mother about his work in the Kuran family business while Ichiru talked about his school with their father. Yuuki and Aido just kept on talking to themselves as if they were alone in the world. _He's the only one who felt so tensed._

"Hanabusa Aido," Yuuki called with a stern face but with such a tender voice Zero thought he felt Kaname flinch. "I thought I told you not to talk while your mouth is full! And you have a grain of rice on your cheek too!" She took the grain and put it in her mouth, much to Zero's surprise.

" _How can you display such affection towards Aido when Kuran is here sitting just across the table!?"_ Zero actually wanted to shout at her but it would be really shocking if he were heard taking Kaname's feelings into consideration.

And so he ate his fill with tensed silence.

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

"…Why do you keep doing this?" He couldn't help but ask. He was asked to escort Kaname to the door some time after dinner and he just couldn't take the situation anymore. He had to know why the hell Kaname was willing to take so much pain just to be with Yuuki.

Kaname, so used to be escorted by a grumpy and awfully silent teen, was actually surprised that Zero started a conversation with him of all people. He looked at Zero for a while.

" _He's having that weird expression again."_ Zero thought as he decided to drop the topic. "You don't need to answer. I don't want to hear it anyway." He turned around and was about to enter the house again when he heard it.

"Zero." His breath actually hitched and he felt his cheeks warm up. _That's the first time Kaname called him by his first name._ The man usually called him by many other annoying names but not his real one. He didn't dare turn around in case Kaname noticed it. "…I'm fine with it. This situation… I don't mind it."

Zero gritted his teeth. He turned around after some seconds. "Are you an idiot? Don't you even feel jealous looking at those two every single day? You're worse than a masochist. Why can't you just let her go?" How he wanted to shout at Kaname for being such an idiot but he could only make his voice a bare whisper. Aside from the fact that it would definitely create a commotion, he couldn't actually blame Kaname for everything. _After all, he's just like Kaname… so used to just looking at the person they loved from afar…_

Kaname had that weird expression again. Zero could sometimes see it when Kaname was looking at him. But lately, he'd often catch the man having that expression a lot. He now wondered what Kaname was thinking while having that face. _Pain and resignation…_ _Or at least that's how he interpreted it…_

"Just being with the person I love is more than fine." Kaname voiced. "That person… doesn't have to love me back. I'm satisfied with the way things are." He smiled before he started walking away.

Zero was left standing by the doorway, feeling so utterly defeated and heartbroken. He bit his lower lip to prevent his tears from falling. "Idiot…" _Please don't have that expression anymore…_

That night, Zero had a dream. It was really a very beautiful dream, with him and Kaname in it. _With him and Kaname so happy in it…_ It was a dream so grand and realistic he actually cried when he woke up… knowing full well that it could never come true.

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

Zero put on the apron as he started preparing for the ingredients. It's his turn to cook that day so he had no choice but to go home earlier than always. He was just glad that no one was home yet. Or rather, the one person he didn't want to see wasn't there yet.

Just like always, he prepared the meal with two extra servings because Aido and Kaname were sure to come too. They always did, especially during the weekends.

He was too busy preparing for food that he didn't hear the sound of the door bell ringing. He had that look of utter concentration on his face when he heard the unmistakable voice that always made his insides squirm from nervousness and giddiness.

"It smells good here." He was surprised enough to turn around with wide eyes. Kaname was leaning by the doorway of the kitchen with arms crossed over his chest. The man was looking at him while wearing a satisfied expression. _It was rare for Kaname to have that look nowadays…_

"What do you want?" He scowled as he answered. He could still feel his cheeks warming up from Kaname's sudden arrival. He swore he'd have a heart attack one of these days because of that annoying man. _And yet, moments like these when he and Kaname were alone was scarce…_ Not to mention he and Kaname talking without the presence of his sister or any of their other family member… How he wished he could just talk to Kaname normally, without scowling or getting angry all the time. But it was impossible to suddenly change his attitude towards the man now.

"Zero, why do you hate me?" He asked so suddenly that Zero almost dropped the spoon he was holding. He must be so aghast that Kaname had to repeat himself. "I'm not dating Yuuki anymore. Why do you still hate me?"

Zero gaped at him for a while. He knew there was no way he could tell the man about his feelings. But there was no other reason he could think of. Oh, Kami. "B-Because you're annoying." He answered lamely. He could feel cheeks heating up again.

Kaname arched an eyebrow at him. "In what way?"

"In this kind of way!" He raised both his hands, as if motioning everything around him. That seemed to have confused Kaname even more. Zero growled at him before returning to cooking while Kaname chuckled at his attitude.

"I won't be a bother… so at least let me stay here for a while." Zero's back was on Kaname so the teen didn't know what kind of expression the brunette was wearing. He thought the voice sounded so serious but he was scared to look and see. In the end, he kept his silence and cooked without looking at the person he liked.

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

"Thank you." Kaname suddenly voiced and Zero had no choice but to look at him. "I thought I'd have to wait here until midnight."

The silver-haired teen sighed. He didn't want to look at Kaname right now. He felt so guilty and so angry that he knew his emotions would show on his face. The other day, Kaname invited Yuuki on a date. She conceded since she didn't have anything to do anyway. It seemed, however, that Aido also invited her at the last minute yesterday and she wanted to go with Aido today instead. She used her puppy-eyes on her brother and forced Zero to go and tell Kaname that she couldn't go to the fucking date anymore. He actually got angry at her for the first time. Or rather, it was the first time he had shown her his anger. He told her to stop giving Kaname mixed signals since it would be harder for the man to move on. She pouted and apologized to him so he had no choice but to sigh and let her hug him.

Kaname and Zero were currently in front of an Amusement Park. Zero just got to the place and learned that Kaname had already bought tickets for two. He told the brunette that Yuuki couldn't go anymore and Kaname was frozen in his place.

"Does this always happen?" Zero couldn't help but ask. He wanted to berate Kaname and tell the brunette to stop asking his sister on dates since she was already dating someone else. But he didn't have the heart to.

"Sometimes she really comes." Kaname answered, still looking at the tickets in his hand. _So most of the time she was ditching him…_

"…You should stop this." The silver-haired teen voiced quietly. "Yuuki already has a lover. You should try to move on." He sighed. _Kaname had that look again… pain and resignation… as if he really didn't want to move on…_

"Since I've already bought the tickets, shouldn't we at least use it?" Kaname proposed with a smile. Zero looked shocked so the brunette had to add, "But only if it's okay with you. I can spend it alone too."

The teen sighed again. He couldn't possibly say no to that. Knowing that Kaname would use the ticket alone all day was hurting him a lot. "Alright. But next time, don't go buying tickets without your date arriving first." He earned a nod and a smile so he had no choice but to really go inside the Park.

He wouldn't admit it but he really did enjoy his time with Kaname. He wore his usual scowl and glare the whole day but even the brunette could tell that he enjoyed the rides, the games, and even the foods inside the Park. But of course, no one would actually know that he enjoyed it mostly because it was with Kaname he spent the day with.

They were quiet when they walked back home. Both men seemed too deep in their own musing.

Zero knew he was most likely punishing himself by doing what he did earlier. He knew that spending more time together with Kaname would actually not help in forgetting the brunette. It could even risk the man knowing of his feelings. But he couldn't help it. _He longed for Kaname so much by now that he couldn't care less anymore._ He sighed. He shouldn't be thinking like that. _He didn't want to betray his sister…_ He could feel his heart shattering with every step he took towards his house. _If only… if only Kaname fell in love with him instead of Yuuki…_ How he wished that. He gritted his teeth silently as he clenched his fists. _How low could he get..?_ But as he repeatedly told himself, _he couldn't help it_.

 _He's in love with Kaname… He's so in love with Kaname that he wished their way home was much, much farther… so that he could at least feel what it felt like in Yuuki's place…_

"Zero, are you alright?" Kaname suddenly stopped walking and looked at him in worry.

Zero furrowed his eyebrows at first, not knowing what the brunette was talking about. At least until he gasped as a small sob broke out from his lips. _He's crying!_ He immediately wiped his cheeks with his hands and averted his gaze. "I-I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Kaname was about to ask more but Zero immediately glared at him.

"I said I'm fine!" He shouted before he started running. _How shameless could he get!?_ To cry in front of Kaname of all people! He felt so ashamed and fearful. _What if Kaname realized why he's crying? What if the brunette told his sister and his whole family about it? What if the small comfort zone which he called home was destroyed because of his feelings for Kaname?_ He knew he wouldn't be able to take that.

And yet, the hollow feeling in his heart now that he left Kaname behind as he entered the house could not be denied anymore. The pain and longing raking his chest was so deep he wanted nothing but to cry. _And he knew he'd definitely cry all night again…_

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

It took Zero several days, but he somehow managed to act like nothing happened even when he's in front of Kaname. He'd initially just eat in his room when the brunette was around. But he realized he would appear more suspicious if he couldn't even look at the brunette in the eyes.

He was cooking again when Kaname entered the kitchen. The brunette looked surprised and Zero was frozen in his position. But it only took him a second or two before he finally recovered. The silver-haired teen thought that Kaname would leave the premise since it was obvious he was not wanted in the kitchen. But instead of leaving, the brunette actually sighed and took a seat in one of the chairs.

"What do you want?" He asked with an icy tone. He didn't want to use that kind of tone towards Kaname but he had no choice. He wanted to hide his feelings to the point of hurting the brunette. _He knew he was despicable… continuously betraying his sister while hurting the person he loved too…_ But he couldn't help it. _He's scared of the consequences…_

"I just want to ask you something." Kaname voiced. When the teen didn't answer, the brunette continued. "I seem to have done something wrong. I want to know what it was that made you so angry at me."

Zero's eyebrows furrowed at that. He was thankful that his back was facing Kaname because he was cooking or it would have appeared to Kaname as if he was confused at the question. He actually tried raking his mind of what he could have possibly done to make Kaname go out of his way and ask him about it. _Or perhaps it was because he'd become a lot colder to the brunette these past few days…_ He sighed. Hurting Kaname had somehow become a habit of his. _He felt guilty._

"You did nothing wrong." Zero voiced. For once, he wanted to tell Kaname that it wasn't always his fault. Zero could be at fault too. Or rather, it would be most appropriate to say that Zero was the only one at fault. "I'm just having a hard time at school and I'm probably venting it out on you and Aido." He looked behind his shoulder, at Kaname, to at least tell the brunette that he was sincere. And what he saw immediately made him blush up to the tips of his ears. He was glad that he was quick enough to look at what he's cooking once again or Kaname would have suspected anything.

He was very surprised. _Kaname… Kaname smiled at him…_ He could feel his ears getting redder by the second. It wasn't his usual cool smile too. The brunette looked so relieved at his words, enough to smile at him in the way Kaname used to smile towards Yuuki only. _Kaname smiled at him like that…_

Zero felt so touched somehow. He could feel his heart brimming with happiness and his eyes with unshed tears. _If only Kaname would smile like that to him more…_ But he knew that that moment just a second ago would be one of those rare moments when he and Kaname were on neutral terms.

"Zero," Zero almost jumped when Ichiru entered the kitchen as well. "Are you finished?"

"Just a bit more." He answered just as he felt Ichiru move beside him to see what he's doing.

"Please excuse me then." Kaname voiced just as he stood up from his seat. Zero was surprised enough to look at the brunette once more. _He didn't want Kaname to leave._ But at the same time, he was relieved. He's afraid he might blurt out some more outrageous things if the brunette remained, if only to make Kaname smile like that to him again.

Although, something must have registered on Zero's face then because Ichiru suddenly looked at him oddly. The teen resumed cooking if only to do something.

"Hey, Zero." Ichiru called his attention. Zero could feel his insides getting cold. He knew Ichiru noticed something and he probably already knew what it was. _He was careless._ Ichiru was more observant than he looked.

When his brother didn't answer, Ichiru sighed before he sat on the chair that Kaname sat into earlier. It seemed his brother had clammed up. "You don't have to hide things from me. I know about it… your secret feelings."

 **.**

 **.tbc.**

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 **Ren-sama's Notes:**

 **Thanks for reading! Please review? ᶺoᶺ**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ren-sama's Notes:**

 **Hi, guys~! Thanks for the reviews! Here's the next and also the last chapter! I hope you enjoy it~~! ᶺoᶺ**

 **.**

 **Chapter 2**

"Hey, Zero." Ichiru called his attention. Zero could feel his insides getting cold. He knew Ichiru noticed something and he probably already knew what it was. _He was careless._ Ichiru was more observant than he looked.

When his brother didn't answer, Ichiru sighed before he sat on the chair that Kaname sat into earlier. It seemed his brother had clammed up. "You don't have to hide things from me. I know about it… your secret feelings."

The spoon Zero was holding dropped onto the floor with a loud clang. His hand shook terribly and he lost control of it. He pretended to pick it up to hide his shock. "I… don't know what you're talking about."

Ichiru arched an eyebrow at that. He knew his twin was stubborn, but not to the point where he'd try to hide something so obvious. "Zero, like I said, there's no need to hide it from me. I already know. I'm your twin so I notice things that even our parents won't. And if you're so scared about it that you'd lose your grip on the spoon from shock, then I'm telling you now, I won't tell anyone."

Zero knew he was done for. The secret was finally out. His hands felt clammy as he held the spoon once more. He could feel cold beads of sweat on his forehead just from the intense tension and stress. "…Ichiru. I…"

Ichiru sighed again as he stood up from his seat and approached his twin. "Don't lose focus now or our dinner won't taste good." He then took the spoon from his brother's hand and put it in the sink. He took another spoon and tasted Zero's cooking. "Hmm. This tastes nice."

Zero remained quiet and distant the whole time during dinner and Ichiru could almost roll his eyes at his twin's behavior. Really, even if no one noticed it until now, surely everybody would notice if Zero appeared too out of it every time Kaname was near.

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

Zero walked with a quiet sigh, holding an umbrella so he wouldn't get wet from the rain. It was cold and he couldn't help but shiver once in a while. But from the coldness or from the fact that Kaname walked beside him, he didn't know.

The two of them walked so close together because they were sharing just one umbrella even though the rain was pouring hard. They just finished dinner a while ago and Zero's mother insisted that he take Kaname home using the umbrella. Kaname was worried that he wouldn't be able to return the umbrella until the afternoon next even though the Kiryuu family would most likely need it the next morning. In the end, Zero's mother asked his son to just take the brunette home and take the umbrella back once again.

"I'm sorry for always troubling you." Kaname voiced beside him.

"I don't mind." Zero automatically blurted out, immediately earning him an odd expression from Kaname. The silver-haired teen could feel himself blushing and he was thankful it was dark and cold so it wasn't entirely prominent.

They walked in silence for some minutes, shoulders brushing once in a while from close proximity. Zero thought the silence would stretch out until they reach the Kuran manor but he was wrong.

"Zero, I…" Kaname voiced in uncertainty. The teen looked at him sideways. Kaname looked really hesitant at first, but then his expression changed to determination. "I've been thinking."

"…About what?" Zero answered after a while. Kaname looked so sad somehow that he wanted to stop and embrace the other male. He could feel his chest constricting painfully again.

"About what you said…" Kaname sighed as he steeled himself. Zero looked at him in confusion so he elaborated. "You often ask me why I'm willing to go through all this just to visit your household even though Yuuki already has another lover." Zero stopped at that, making Kaname stop in his tracks too. The brunette looked at Zero fully. "I was actually quite contented with this setting. I wanted to continually visit your house and pretend that everything is okay. But I figured that it won't have a positive result in the long run. I plan to make tonight my last visit."

Zero's eyes widened as he looked at Kaname in shock. "…Your last visit? Why?"

Kaname smiled at him then, a smile so pained and sad that Zero felt like crying for him. "I was satisfied with the current setting… but not anymore. I want more than this. That's why I plan on leaving quietly before I do something that will make me hate myself even more."

"Hate yourself? What are you talking about, Kuran?" Zero looked so confused. He didn't know why Kaname was so sad or why he was saying all those things now. He knew he kept telling Kaname to move on from his feelings for Yuuki, but for him to disappear from their life would definitely break the teen's heart. Zero's only connection to Kaname was Yuuki and the Kiryuu household. If Kaname would really move on, he realized with great pain that he could not take it. _He wouldn't be able to see Kaname again if that ever happened…_ Zero knew he was being selfish this time. He knew that it would be better for Kaname too. _But he just couldn't help but be sad that he would no longer see Kaname…_

Kaname cupped the teen's cheeks and without further ado kissed him full on the lips. Zero was so shocked that he lost his grip on the umbrella. But Kaname didn't seem to care. He started and ended the kiss with utter gentleness and Zero was still in too much shock to react. "I'm sorry for troubling you and everyone until now, Zero." Kaname smiled before he started walking away. The brunette's suit which Zero's mother praised was totally drenched and the teen could feel his hot tears flow down his cheeks as he stood there frozen.

He initially thought of running after Kaname but when he took a step forward, he found that his strength had suddenly left him. His knees were too weak to take another step.

 _What exactly… happened..?_

He returned home completely drenched by the rain, carrying the folded umbrella, and totally too out of it. It was definitely strange no matter how anyone looked at it. He walked upstairs quietly even though his mother kept on asking what happened.

"Did you have a fight with Kaname-kun?" His mother kept on bugging him but he simply shook his head and continued to walk towards his room. He took his time bathing. Afterwards, he changed into his sleeping clothes. It was better if he did have a fight with Kaname. Then he wouldn't be so confused right now. _Why did Kaname do that? Why did he have such a sad expression then?_

"Is it my fault..?" He asked himself quietly.

Zero found himself sitting on his bed in his room with a very serious Ichiru by the door. The younger twin locked the door and approached his brother quietly. Zero was stubborn but Ichiru had still managed to make him spill out what really happened.

"You know, you don't really have the need to hide it so much." Ichiru started. Zero remained quiet, looking at anything but his twin. "You should know that your family isn't the type to judge you because of your preference, right? Also, Kuran is not dating Yuuki-chan anymore so it's fine."

"You make it sound so simple." Zero glared at Ichiru and the latter, totally used to it, merely shrugged.

"Well, actually, you're the only one trying to make it so complicated." He answered. "You have feelings for him so the only thing you can do is either go for it or move on. But you're doing neither. You're letting yourself get stuck in the middle, too afraid to take even a tiny step forward. You've become such a coward, Zero."

"Shut up." Zero's glare hardened. That one hit a nerve. "What do you know about my feelings?" Hs mind kept replaying the scene earlier and he couldn't help but be even more frustrated. _What the hell just happened anyway?_ One moment Kaname was okay, then he started saying he wouldn't come to their house anymore, and then finally kissing him before leaving him all alone. _That was the really frustrating part._ "You know nothing, Ichiru."

"Oh, so now you're going to tell me I don't have the right to lecture you about it since I cannot possibly understand your feelings, right?" Ichiru's voice hardened a little. "You're right. I cannot possibly understand your situation. Because if it was me, I'd definitely do everything I can to make him return my feelings." Zero's eyes widened at that. Ichiru smirked to himself. It seemed he was getting the message through. "You love him enough to get hurt by it, right? You love him even though he was dating your sister. You love him even after they split up. And you certainly still love him even though he said he won't be seeing any of us anymore. Or am I wrong?" Ichiru had that look which dared Zero to oppose him. "Is your so-called love for Kuran so flimsy and superficial that you can't even be proud of it? Or is it because you feel that falling in love for that person is so shameful?"

"I said shut up!" Zero stood from his seat. His whole body was shaking from anger and frustration, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Yes, I'm ashamed of it! Are you happy now?! I'm so ashamed to feel this sickening feeling for my sister's lover!" By the end of his statement, his tears were already flowing endlessly down his cheeks.

"Do you… really think that?" Ichiru crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you really think that your feelings for Kuran are sickening?"

Zero's eyes widened at that. _No, of course not…_ His feelings for Kaname wouldn't lose to Yuuki's in any kind of way. _He loved Kaname that much…_ "I don't… I don't know what to do anymore…" He actually slumped on the floor as he started sobbing uncontrollably. He didn't want to cry in front of Ichiru of all people but he couldn't help it. _He felt so weak and uncertain. He was at a dead end. He didn't know what to do._

"Zero," Ichiru took a step towards his brother and gave him a warm embrace. "You of all people should know what to do. You tried to give up on him, right? But you couldn't do it. That's why you're suffering. If you know you can never give up on it, then you can only pursue it. I'm not saying it won't be painful in case he rejects you. But at the least… at least, you should ask him why he did that."

Zero let himself be comforted, maybe for the first time in his life. He nodded as he kept on sobbing at his brother's shoulder. He knew that Ichiru would tease him about it when he's finally okay but for now, he's glad that he had Ichiru with him. Ichiru's words gave him enough courage to actually think that his feelings might not be so despicable after all. "How did you know I feel something for him..?"

"Ah, that." Ichiru wanted to actually tease him but he thought it wasn't a good time. "It's too obvious actually. You always stare at him when you think no one is looking. I know you're overprotective of Yuuki, but even I knew something was off when you get so angry every time they'd make out in front of you. And also, you always have this pained, resigned expression whenever you see them together. Of course, only I can tell those things because I'm your twin." And he actually looked proud of it.

"What's with that?" Zero couldn't help but chuckle, sniffing a little.

 **. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

Zero could feel his nervousness and fear all over again as he stood up by the wide gate of the huge Kuran manor. True to his words, Kaname never visited their house anymore and his mother thought that it was his fault. It's been several days now but due to their mother's insistence that he apologizes, he found himself standing in front of the daunting gates. He was actually so nervous to face Kaname once again that he kept pacing back and forth in front of the gate like a suspicious person for several minutes now. He knew the brunette was living all alone in his mansion since he's already an adult but the teen still felt like wanting to back out now. _He felt like a stalker._

Actually, the apology was just an alibi to finally go to Kaname's place. His real motive was to ask about that night and to finally confess his feelings. He could feel his cold hands get clammier by the second and he felt like running away from the place now that he was here. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would burst out from his chest from too much nervousness.

He remembered Ichiru's silent encouragement earlier when he was about to leave. However, the thing that surprised him the most was Yuuki's words. _"Take care of Kaname from now on, nii-san."_

 _Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as successful in hiding his feelings as he initially thought…_

"Are you by any chance Kaname-sama's friend?" Zero was brought out of his musings when he heard a male's voice. He initially looked in his surrounding to see the person but then he realized that the voice came from the intricate, rich-looking intercom-like thing hanging by the gate.

"Um, yes." He answered lamely. He was actually unsure of it but he thought the person on the other side might not let him enter if he said otherwise.

When he was finally allowed to enter the living room, the Kuran manor butler bowed a little at him and smiled. "Please follow me." He said before he walked towards the staircase into the second floor. But they didn't stop because they once again ascended another flight of stairs towards the third floor. "This way please." All the while, Zero could only stare at the grandeur of the Kuran manor. He also wanted to ask why the butler would just let him into the house without even asking for his identity yet but he figured he'd know soon enough. "We're here. You may enter." The butler once again bowed down before he left.

Zero gulped. He was left all alone in the huge hallway of the mansion, being expected to just go inside the room. _What now..?_ He inhaled deeply, trying his best to calm down a bit lest he wanted to make a mess of himself, before he entered the room and closed the door behind him once again.

The atmosphere was quite different from what he was expecting. The room was really huge and was designed to look like a private office. Huge shelves filled with books lined up the wall and the entire room looked so homey and at the same time so professional-looking. He could see another open door from the side leading to the real bedroom. Kaname was in his table by the window, busy reading some paperwork. Behind him was a whole glass wall, overlooking the veranda outside.

Zero inhaled once again. Kaname seemed busy since the brunette didn't look like he noticed the teen yet. He felt like crying now. His nervousness earlier was nothing in comparison to how he felt now. He felt so trapped in the awkward atmosphere somehow.

"Kuran, I…" Zero started, clearing his throat in the process. "I see that you're busy but…"

"…Hmm. So you knew I was busy and yet you still came here." Kaname voiced without looking up from the paperwork.

Zero wanted to actually say something, anything, just to counter that statement. But he couldn't find his voice. He felt like he was slapped just now. He didn't know Kaname could be so cold like this. _He didn't know anything about Kaname._ He felt like he's suddenly speaking to a different person. He knew that Kaname might not appreciate him appearing in front of the brunette once again. But he didn't think Kaname was the type to be so vocal about it. _This… this wasn't what he was hoping for…_

"I'll come back some other time then." He took a step backward and groped for the doorknob. Just as he was about to exit, Kaname spoke again.

"Since you've already disturbed me, why not tell me what you want now?" Kaname then looked up from his work. He wore the coldest expression Zero had seen so far.

"I…" Zero felt his nervousness doubled. He averted his gaze and in the end simply turned around to face the door. "I'm really sorry… for disturbing your work." And he finally turned the doorknob, only to find out that it couldn't be turned. _Was it locked from the other side?_ He could feel silent panic as he tried his best to open the handle without success.

"Did I scare you?" Zero's breath hitched when Kaname's voice sounded so near him. He turned around only to come face to face with the brunette. He didn't hear Kaname's footsteps. He felt his cheeks color up from the close proximity. _Kaname was too close!_ But now that he was close enough, Zero realized that his eyes weren't cold anymore. Those warm chocolate eyes made Zero's nervousness lessen a bit. "Those words I said just now… were your first words to me. I'll never forget it." Zero's eyes widened a lot at that. He tried to think of what Kaname was talking about. The first time Kaname talked to him, he was probably cooking for dinner. He was busy and the pureblood was so annoying then so he said those words, those same words which were hurting him a lot now. _So he said something like that to Kaname before…_

"I…" Zero clenched his fists to steel himself up. He's the one who came here looking for Kaname. He's the one who's always hurting Kaname. He's also always the one who kept on running away. All this time, all he kept on doing was run away from his feelings or ignore it. _But not anymore…_

"Zero, I already told you." Kaname sighed. "I have no plans on coming back to your house anymore so rest assured that I–"

"That's not what I came here for!" Zero spoke louder than he intended, his eyes remained looking at his feet. He was frustrated. He was hurt. He was being left behind by this person. He needed to do something about it. He clenched his fists harder. "I… I want to apologize for everything. I was always rude to you, always saying things that I know will hurt you. My mother asked me to come here but there's no way she can make me if I really didn't want to. So… I'm apologizing… sincerely."

Kaname closed his eyes before he smiled. He looked really touched at the apology. "Thank you, Zero. But really, there was no need to come all the way here–"

"That's not all!" Zero could feel his heartbeat getting faster and faster by the second. He could feel himself blush up to the tips of his ears. "That night, why did you do that?! I want to know!" By the end of his statement, he finally looked up at Kaname.

The brunette's expression changed then. His face hardened, as if he was afraid Zero would be able to read it. "It's better if you don't know anything. It's actually even better if you didn't come here at all."

"What?!" Zero felt like punching him. "I deserve to know, Kuran!" He could feel his anger rising again and he knew shouting at Kaname was definitely not the reason why he came to the place. But he just couldn't help it, especially since Kaname was being too stubborn.

"…Fine." Kaname clenched his fists too. "It's because I'm in love with you, Zero!"

Whatever Zero thought Kaname was about to say, it certainly wasn't that one. He was so shocked that he could only stare at the brunette with wide eyes and gaping mouth. He could feel the blush on his cheeks deepening.

Kaname seemed to have realized that he just shouted out his feelings and suddenly gritted his teeth. His cheeks were starting to color up too. He sighed to calm himself down. "…The reason why I still kept on visiting your house, despite the fact that Yuuki and I were over, wasn't to visit her. It's you I was visiting."

It took a while for Zero to finally respond. "B-But that's… There's no way…"

Kaname sighed again. He might as well just explain since he already said it anyway. "The reason for our breakup wasn't Aido. It was you." Zero looked shocked and hurt at that so Kaname had to explain further. "It's true that you're the reason, but you're not the one at fault. It was me."

"…I don't understand…" Zero voiced as he looked at Kaname's eyes for answer.

"I told Yuuki that I…" Kaname sighed again. It seemed it was really hard for him to voice out anything. "That I've fallen in love with you." The depths of those chocolate eyes made Zero felt like he was being sucked in. "Yuuki got angry at me. I told her I tried to resist it but it was no use. That's the reason why we broke up. But Yuuki is a very strong girl. I know I've hurt her so much but she didn't cry in front of me. Aido was courting her then and she used him to spite me, to at least try to make me jealous. Or maybe to show me that she's not affected anymore. But it was no use. My feelings for you did not waver."

"But my sister…" Zero felt dizzy all of a sudden. _Then all this time… he was hurting Yuuki unconsciously..?_ And he even tried so hard to hide his feelings. All this time he'd always thought she was such an idiot for choosing Aido over Kaname. _He didn't know that she didn't have any choice at all…_ Now Yuuki's words to him earlier finally made sense.

"Don't worry. Yuuki loves Aido now." Kaname cupped the teen's cheek with one hand. He was at least glad that Zero didn't push it away. "It's true that at first, she only saw him as my replacement. What she didn't know was the fact that Aido could really make her fall for him deeply. Their relationship somehow made my guilt wane a little… because I know for a fact that Aido made her so much happier than I had."

"Kuran, I…" Zero couldn't believe that Yuuki and Kaname's breakup was because of him. Or that they were all suffering, not just him… And most of all, Kaname loved him all this time too. He didn't know if it would make his guilt lesser or not. _He didn't know what to do._ He wished Ichiru were here. _But Ichiru would only tell him to go for it… right?_

"Yuuki actually gave me a condition." Kaname smiled, continuing when he thought Zero looked so confused at the turn of events. "Since I fell in love with her favorite brother, she said that she could never forgive me. But she allowed me to at least see you once in a while, resulting to my usual visits at your house. She also forbade me to act on my feelings. She said that I can only earn her forgiveness if you return my feelings… and only if you're the first one to make a move. Yuuki and I both know that it's a condition impossible to fulfill so we settled on the visiting arrangement. I was satisfied with it, just seeing you always was enough."

"But you haven't fulfilled the condition yet…" Zero voiced out.

"Yes, I cheated, didn't I?" Kaname chuckled at that. "That's because lately, I feel that if I stay around you any longer, I might not be able to control myself. Even now, you have no idea how much self-control I'm practicing just so I will not do anything to you."

Zero immediately turned totally red at that.

"You see, Zero," The brunette continued, basking at the sight of the teen blushing madly. "You weren't so cold to me anymore. It gets my hopes up. I don't want that because I know for sure that there's no way for you to love me too. That's why… I've decided to try moving on. Maybe I'll try going to another country to forget you."

Zero's eyes widened at that. "Don't you dare do that!" His eyes widened at his own outburst. Kaname looked at him in surprise. Zero averted his gaze to the side. "There's… one more thing… one more reason why I came here…" He still felt guilty about the breakup and his feelings. He also knew he still have so many uncertainties about everything. _But for once, he would not run away. He loved Kaname too, for Kami's sake…_ "I actually came here to tell you… to finally move on from your feelings for my sister… and love me instead…" He could feel his ears heating up from all the words he just said. "But seeing that you've already done that… Then I… I'll just tell you that… I'm in love with you as well, Kaname."

Kaname's eyes were wide and he was slightly gaping when Zero finally finished what he was about to say. The brunette gulped. It seemed that was the last straw.

Zero almost yelped when Kaname suddenly carried him off to the adjoining room. "Wha–? P-Put me down! Kuran..!"

He was pushed onto the bed before the brunette flopped on top of him, making Zero frozen stiff. "No more… self-control…" Kaname mumbled before he cupped Zero's cheeks and kissed him torridly.

Zero tried to resist at first but he found out there's no way he could resist something he was dreaming of for a long time now. He groaned when he felt Kaname's other hand travelling downwards. The kiss was sloppy at first since they were both still trembling from too many emotions. The teen moaned when Kaname's mouth traveled down to his throat, then to his neck, all the while slowly removing both their clothes.

Kaname smiled as he kissed the teen's chest when he heard Zero sigh. _That was a quiet turn on._ "I didn't think you will come all the way here to confess." He voiced quietly. "I was really planning to give up. I was afraid I would lose my control… and my sanity…"

"…You already did." Zero talked back. The chuckle Kaname let out was so sweet and contented that it actually made Zero fall for him more. Or at least, that's how the silver-haired teen felt deep inside.

Kaname smiled, their foreheads touching and their gaze directed to one another – their eyes a mix of bliss and contentment and excitement and love. Zero slowly smiled back.

"I love you, Zero. You don't have any idea how much I love you…" Kaname whispered as he slowly leaned down for a chaste kiss.

"…I think I do have an idea…" Zero wounded his arms around the brunette's neck and gently pulled him down. "…because I feel the same…"

There were still more things to do and more things to clarify between the two of them. But for now, all of those things didn't matter at all. All that mattered now was the fact that the two of them had finally found the person they were destined for… finally allowing their pained hearts to feel happiness once more. And as their lips met and danced in the rhythm of their heartbeats, their hearts too danced as they finally got to know the warmth of each other's touch.

 **.**

 **.END.**

 **.**

 **Ren-sama's Note:**

 **Yup, that was the end, guys~! Or rather, the beginning of their blossoming love~! ᶺoᶺ**

 **I hope to hear some reviews~!**


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